We’ve all heard of the seven stages of grief, right?
Well let’s just say we’re preeetttty sure you’re going to be grieving when one of GYG’s Deadly Sauces hits your tongue this Thursday.
If Chilli is your name and spice is your game, then your mouth is going to be watering. If not, then your mouth is going to be dire need OF watering.
So we’re asking, are you “Chilli Spice” – the long-lost 6th member of the world’s most successful girl group? Or are you the sort of person who thinks pepper is spicy? In either case, GYG is the place to be (or at the very least, grab lunch or dinner!) this Thursday, the 2nd of November. Or as they call it in Mexico, The Day of the Dead!
Our staff will be wearing festive costumes and face-paint. We’ll have excelente Latin music. And best of all – a hot sauce that might finish you before you can finish your meal!
So without further ado, we give you the 7 stages of spice when eating GYG’s Deadly Sauces.
The shock phase occurs within the first 3-5 seconds of the Chilli sauce hitting your tongue. During this time, you’ll think “wow…this really does have a bit of a kick.” BEWARE: the spice-cycle has only just begun. For some reason these sauces just get hotter as time goes on. So when the first five seconds are this shocking, you know your mouth is about to be on fire.
Next up is the denial phase. 5 seconds in into your first bite, you’ll feel the roof of your mouth starting to burn up. You’ll try to fight it and will tell yourself, “it’s not that hot…it’s not THAT hot…….IT IS. NOT. THAT. HOT.”
Oh, but it is. And it just gets hotter.
Also known as the “oh god. I’ve made a huge mistake” stage. The heat continues to rise and you’ll start questioning whether this meal is too hot for you to even take a second bite, let alone finish it. On one hand, you love spice. You’re the Chilli Queen/King. But on the other hand, you’ve possibly met your match. You don’t want to waste your food…and you can’t let the person who dared you to do the #HotSauceChallenge beat you. But at the same time, you might have been out-spiced. You did this to yourself. This is your fault.
At this point, you’ll do anything to have your old, carefree tongue back. This includes running to the counter, falling to your knees and praying to Señor Guzman and Señor Gomez themselves. You’ll beg them to make the heat go away any way they can. Unfortunately we don’t sell milk or ice cream, so you may find yourself begging our crew to sell you a cup of sour cream!
It’s right about now that the spice REALLY kicks in. Trust me when I say that these two Deadly Sauces have a bit of a delayed reaction. Sure, it’s spicy at the start. But for some reason, it just gets hotter and hotter. 1 minute in is where it truly peaks. This is the point where people start drooling and wiping their tongues with serviettes. No matter how much you love spice, you’re bound to feel a bit of anger! Anger at your friend for daring you to do the challenge. Anger at your taste-buds for being so weak. Anger at yourself for buying it. And anger at the fact that it won’t go away!
Once the depression hits, we recommend finding somewhere quiet in the restaurant where you can curl up in the foetal position and lie on the cold, hard floor. Not only will this help you wallow in your mouth-burning pity, but the cold tiles will also sooth your inflamed cheeks.
Finally, you will simply accept that this is just your life now. Once you and your mouth have reached this stage, you probably won’t have enough energy to get back up. If you still have your voice, feel free to scream “WATER! WATER!”
Provided one of our friendly crew members can hear you (and you have money!) they’ll bring a water over to you immediately *
* not really though. You’ll still have to line-up at the counter. I mean, feel free to lie on the floor screaming “WATER!” – Just be aware that you might be asked to leave and will probably end up on YouTube.
You can RSVP to the event here!
And if you know a spice-lover (or even better, a spice-HATER!) then feel free to share and dare! Dare them to do the #HotSauceChallenge on Thursday November 2nd by coming down to your local Guzman y Gomez to celebrate The Day of the Deadly Sauce!